Moushumi Roy — A Life Well Lived
What makes life worth living?
There are no straight answers. It differs from person to person, depending on circumstances, stage of life, and so many other factors. But I am confident we can all agree on one thing—having good friends.
Now — what is a good friend?
I have never been a votary of hanging around as a measure of friendship. They in my mind are a way of passing time, and friends are incidental. When I was early in my first job, I saw how vacuous is this from close quarters.
We were a bunch of 27 young engineers in the Civil Design Department of my first company. All of us were unmarried, and all were always hanging around together. Great friendship — right? Not really.
I distinctly remember a day when one of us did not report to work one day. It was early 90s’, and we had no cell phones. So all of us marched to his home (in BARC campus) during lunch break, to find a case of cough and cold. Such was the concern.
Fast forward three years. Many of us were married or built our social networks outside the office. One of our colleagues was writing civil service, and he went on unannounced leave to prepare. I was close to this colleague and knew what was up, but it was weeks before other colleagues approached me to know about the unannounced prolonged absence. Such was the concern.
These two instances left a deep impression on me. You may say I turned cynical about “real” friendship. But in the decades that have passed, I have seen more validation than challenge. Incidentally, I have participated in in quite a few fundraisers when friends were in deep trouble, and have seen friendship from the inside — which helped me separate wheat from the chaff.
So who is a friend? My simple definition is — one who is there for you, even if you are not spending any time together. And you have the confidence that they are there for you. Within their limitations and constraints, but with all their intent.
Moushumi is one such friend. I met her when I was starting my job, Raghu and Moushumi got married early. They also had a son early — Anurag.
I have been in touch with Moushumi and Raghu on and off, mostly on calls. We met a handful of times in the last few decades. And I also got quite close, pleasantly to Anurag.
Luck would have had it, Jonali was working in Mumbai and we met Moushumi and Raghu twice in quick succession. They had bought a place at Hiranandani, next to the Powai Lake. Moushumi was about to retire and Raghu too is close. With Anurag a prof in the US, and their beloved Bozo passing away a few years back, they were planning to have a rich life of getting old together.
Looks powered beyond us had other plans, and Moushumi left us. Just weeks after retirement. A sad incident, but also beautiful memories.
Most of us change for the worse as we age. Thankfully Moushumi remained the same vibrant self all the way I met her first at Anushaktinagar and met her last at Powai. That is no mean feat.
People like Moushumi make our lives and world worth living.
